Dont Allow Them to be Wrong!

Today I learned a fun lesson from a right brain extrovert I played with for a student of mine, since she couldnt make it out to our lesson. This mare is just lovely, expressive, inquisitive and, I think, very very damaged from her previous dealings with people. She has a lot of base fear and goes very internal as a defense. She is naturally tense and hyper aware of every move you make and is almost completely shut off to curiosity.

The first time we played was last week, and all we did was spend an hour and a half on the catching game. Luckily it was warmish and sunshiney, because canadian winters dont tend to lend themselves well to extended outdoor excursions. I think the lookers-on were chilly, but I remember being so absorbed in this mare that I wasnt cold at all [which is a lot coming from me!] At first she was so reactive. Just run away, escape escape escape. She could run fast, because there was no snow and frozen mud creating pock marked ground, but she definately trotted with intention. And extension! This pony is one fancy nice to look at girly! I will have to get some pictures of her... watching her go is sure no chore!

At first she just went and went and then would just stop dead, blank in the face, staring, not breathing, head up and neck tight, hiding inside herself. It was sad. So the first game was, dont stay stopped if you are just going to freeze. That got the first licking from her. In motion. Thinking with her feet still wasnt happening yet, but as an RBE, thinking in motion was easy for her. So a little lick there. Less and less she stopped freezing when stopping, but she still wasnt asking any questions. So then the game was dont stop your feet unless you have a question! I think it was eight or ten laps around her little self made round corral [about fifty feet] before she just ever so slighty tipped her ear and nose in to me and I released. I think that blew her mind a little, because she stopped and licked. She didnt look at me full on, not yet, but she tipped that dainty little nose my way, just the tiniest bit!

When she started heading to freezing up again, I sent her on her way again, and so we continued. Tiny little yeilds, release, stop, go. Repeat. UNTIL! FINALLY! She just had a lightbulb moment and swung right around to me! No feet, but the nose and neck were mine! It was such an exhillarating feeling. Once she had the idea that looking at me was the right answer she had a million questions. Very cool. The only thing was that she wasnt thinking forward at all. She was curious, she had caught the release came from looking at me, but she wasnt willing to come to me.

So we played with just yeilding her hind end. It was so hard at first. She was so locked down, so committed to her escape, that her back feet just wouldnt budge. I was on her left I think, and her right hind foot just would not even think about moving. The left hind would shuffle a tiny inch or two, but that right hind was not giving up its chance to flee. The first time she finally actually yeilded that hind foot I had to work SO so hard not to squeal in excitement! You can ask the student - we were both so excited and sucked into this little mares progress!

Where I left it for the day was when she was yeilding steadily and keeping two eyes on me, curious and with way more confidence than we began with. It was some of the coolest behavious changes I have seen in one session. She went from bolting aroumd, tight, high headed and staring to trotting with her nose on the ground, blowing out, licking, and getting soft in her eyes. Very cool.

The student was able to go out and play with her on the weekend and said she was yeilding well but still not approaching. Enter me today. Right as soon as I entered her paddock [she has one alone, which makes things a little easier] she faced me and was, I think, on the cusp of asking a question and being afraid. She knew it was the right answer, but didnt really know what else. Her next answer, when I asked her to yeild a little more was to trot off. This trot off, face up pattern continued for a little until one time when she faced, I kept walking and she yeilded all the way around and then ended up walking beside me some how. I am not really sure what happened, but somehow I ended up with enough draw to take her along with me. It felt like magic. She was walking beside me, maybe three feet away, calm and collected ...wow. I stopped, and so did she. I offered her the horsemans handshake like a dufus and broke the spell. It was like she really didnt understand how she ended up so close to me. I should have just walked away. Silly me. You live and learn right? I will forever remember that moment of magic and measure everything else against it though. It was perfect. And I ruined it! DOH!

After I broke the spell, she trotted off and kept trotting for quite a while. Every now and again she would try and snatch hay and I would have to send her again. For a while I felt like I had broken what we had, so I started different tactics, like seeing what happened if I mirrored her [she went faster or stayed the same, but no thought of stopping] followed waaaay behind her [slowed down and thought about turning but the right when she was about to, would speed up faster] I stood just still in the middle [she went and went and went and then tried for some hay and went some more. Go neutral?]  She eventually reverted to trying to yeild, but it wasnt the same as before. She was much more flighty.

Then I got to thinking about  not letting her be wrong to long. She had moved a lot, she was relaxing, stretching and blowing, - her circle was shrinking to that of about a 12' line, she just was not thinking about me in any way. Hmm. I tried to think how I could make my point obvious. The answer is to come near me silly sweet pony! I tried to tell her, but the language barrier was obvious. My human to horse translation is lacking. So I shrunk the size of our run around area with some slight driving game - have I mentioned how sensitive this girly is?! Unreal.

In our shrunken area, her first answer was escape - try and get back to the big area. She made it a few times, so I just caused her to come back [ our place was where the hay was, so there was a little incentive!] We ended up near the gate, so it defaulted like there was something kind of blocking zone one. I was torn about this. I didnt want it to be a make, so I didnt do anything if she tried to move forwards, though her answer was usually backwards. I played with coming into and out of her bubble until she asked a question. So, step in, she looked, step back. Repeat, until I could get more steps and keep a positive expression. She went stary a few times, so I would retreat more and she would look at me like "WHAT?! you arent just going to come over and grab my halter?" Which was cute.

Eventually I was an inch away from her, the hay I had picked up in my pockets while mirroring her tickling her sides - which she flinched to - how interesting. I offered her the horsemans handshake again. Brace. Zone one turned away. Tensions. No breathing, or very very shallow. I can only guess she was assuming I would just grab her halter. It was very curious to me. So I retreated any time she softened even a tiny tiny fraction. And repeated. Offer, soften retreat. The first time she actually turned to me when I offered was amazing. I thought she would touch me, but she was ever so careful not to. She just asked a question, maybe it was "Are you going to grab me or not?" who knows? Either way it was a breakthrough for her. She licked and breathed! Lots more retreat! Then when I approached she started to put her head down to my hand. Not her nose, but her head. She would place herself so that her halter noseband was below my hand... kind of felt like an invite to rub her forehead, so I did, and the world didnt end! Wow!

About five times in a row I got that same invite, relaxed and as confident  as I have seen her. I wouldnt call her confident, but definately a step up. unfortunately by that point I had to check back into my human timeline and be on my way, but not before sharing the hay in my pockets with her and giving her a final rub. As I walked away from her paddock I heard loads of blowing out and licking and more blowing.

Sometimes it is so hard for the answer to be obvious in a less than ideal situation - ie: her long recatangle paddock with hay in one end! I had to get creative. I feel like it worked out to everyones benefit. She realized that I could approach her, not just grab her, and respect her bubble - which is giant. The biggest thing will be obviously the test of the tomorrows, but I feel good about today.  I am really excited to see her next tuesday. She has so much potential to be everything .... I hope we can collectively help her realize that people will help her and not hinder her in her progress to reach it!

:)
S