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"If my particular passion ever kills me, it won't be because I was on my horse's back... It will be because I was gaping out of my car window at some horse standing innocently in a field when I was supposed to be paying attention to the road."

Friday, January 21, 2011

Its My Life

Not only is it my semi-motto de jour but it is also a fairly catchy tune by Bon Jovi, circa 2004/2005. Interesting side fact: This song was the first song I really really liked and bought an album for. It really touched on something important to me - the desire to live and grow and be my own person. Sure I went through the whole BSB/Spice Girls thing when I was younger, but right about the time I really started to figure myself out, this song came out and caught my attention.

Before Parelli, in a hunter world full of perfect brown TB, appendix or lean quarter horses, I had a BIG CHUNKY PALOMINO Belgain x QH. I also loved and still love purple. So when I went to little shows, everyone else was there in their perfectly shined boots and boring jackets and white pads on their spectacularly uninteresting brown horses. Nothing against brown horses, it just cracked me up that every single [or nearly] hunter horse in the arena was brown. Chestnut. Boring. No or little white. They all looked the same. Perfectly braided, looking totally bored, cookie cutter little show horses. And then I walk in on my light palomino beefcake, decked out in purple. Purple saddle pad, purple polos, purple helmet, gloves, the whole she-bang. Obviously I stood out. Whether it was good or not, I dont know, but I was there to have FUN. Everyone else seemed to have forgotten that simple fact. The shows were even titled FUN Shows, there were no rules on attire - other than obvious safety guidelines - there was nothing stopping them from showing off a little fun personality other than their own lack of imagination.

I never really showed a lot, I can count on two hands how many shows I have been to, but each time I go, I try to add a little bit of uniqueness. My helmet is purple, so that's a given, but I also try to add other things, a purple saddle pad, purple ribbon in the braids, *something* that shows who *I* am, as ME, not as a drone who goes along with the crowd.

To be honest, my whole drive to be unique is part of why Indy's name is what it is - Individuality. To remind me to always be myself, not fit into some cutout pre-determined version of what someone thinks I should be.

Mostly I think that suits, there are times when it suits to conform somewhat, to keep peace and because I want to, to be able to grow and be better at being me. Being an individual doesn't mean I cant do things other people do, I just get to do them with my own flair. Live outside the box as it were. My life seems to generally lead down the outside-the-box path. Out of high school, University wasn't on my menu because I was to introverted to be confident enough to go.  I went to a small trade college instead, and also found Parelli around that time.

Even growing up, I never had the same sort of life plan that everyone else seemed to have - go to school, get a desk job, get married, have kids, live happily ever after. No, while other girls my age were planning their weddings and naming their not-even-yet-conceived children, I was planning my farm layout and picking out future horse names. Funny how life works out, isn't it?

In school I usually felt out of sorts. During Careers class the pressure was on to pick a career/job path that you would then study towards the rest of your high school career.   The only thing I ever wanted to do was be with horses. Other things weren't an option. Maybe that makes me narrow minded, but I prefer to think of it as having a goal and striving to reach it.

Post trade school [ten month program] I 'lucked' into an office job. I wasn't looking for it, I didn't particularly care to have it, but it was money, which I sorely needed at the time. Two years I spent in that office. Most of which time was just spent counting the minutes until I could get home to my horses to put the wind back in the sails of my passion. The up side of the office job was that it allowed me to save enough money to get myself to Florida and undertake the journey that has FINALLY brought me to the portion of my life that sees me sharing my passion with horsey people and Parelli students all around me.

I guess all this rambling could really be condensed down to a simple fact or two. Don't be afraid to make something of your passion. Hold onto your dreams and make them your reality. Anything can happen when you act your own person and break the mold.


When I started this post I wasn't really sure where it was going. I didn't think it would end up as a diatribe about my life... it was supposed to be a re-cap on my Florida planning - which is well underway, for those curious. I leave in three weeks. Horsey paperwork is on its way, blood drawn and just awaiting results. My trailer is living at my dad's - he is getting it all road worthy and such, and Goliath is getting an extra inspection or two before being asked to undertake a 1200km journey hauling such precious cargo.

Also, I have found two extremely nice people who will be leasing Indy for the Fast Track 1 and 2. I am thrilled about that. I was a bit worried about her sitting bored in a pasture for twelve weeks.I think she will have a blast, and certainly the people who get to play with her will as well, she is such a treat to be with.

Otherwise not to much has been happening here. We have and continue to have some very deep freezes. Temperatures haven't been above -15C in at least a week. Projections are more in the -20 range for the next while, with a delightful breeze making it feel much more frigid. I am not sure I can adequately express my excitement for warmth and sunshine, and the lacking need for seventeen layers, while still feeling cold.

So far, I am very proud of how I have lived my life. It is mine to live, and I refuse to live it to anyone's standards but my own - which are high, let me assure you. There are those around me who wonder and wish for me to just 'let go of this horsey thing' and 'get a real job' and settle down, but that would be a betrayal to myself and who I am, so I plan to continue on this journey, keep on keeping on with my horses, and getting my good better and my better best!

 :-)
S

1 comments:

Parelli Central said...

Great post and my best wishes for your journey to FL!

Petra Christensen
Parelli 2Star Junior Instructor
Parelli Central