Its My Life

Not only is it my semi-motto de jour but it is also a fairly catchy tune by Bon Jovi, circa 2004/2005. Interesting side fact: This song was the first song I really really liked and bought an album for. It really touched on something important to me - the desire to live and grow and be my own person. Sure I went through the whole BSB/Spice Girls thing when I was younger, but right about the time I really started to figure myself out, this song came out and caught my attention.

Before Parelli, in a hunter world full of perfect brown TB, appendix or lean quarter horses, I had a BIG CHUNKY PALOMINO Belgain x QH. I also loved and still love purple. So when I went to little shows, everyone else was there in their perfectly shined boots and boring jackets and white pads on their spectacularly uninteresting brown horses. Nothing against brown horses, it just cracked me up that every single [or nearly] hunter horse in the arena was brown. Chestnut. Boring. No or little white. They all looked the same. Perfectly braided, looking totally bored, cookie cutter little show horses. And then I walk in on my light palomino beefcake, decked out in purple. Purple saddle pad, purple polos, purple helmet, gloves, the whole she-bang. Obviously I stood out. Whether it was good or not, I dont know, but I was there to have FUN. Everyone else seemed to have forgotten that simple fact. The shows were even titled FUN Shows, there were no rules on attire - other than obvious safety guidelines - there was nothing stopping them from showing off a little fun personality other than their own lack of imagination.

I never really showed a lot, I can count on two hands how many shows I have been to, but each time I go, I try to add a little bit of uniqueness. My helmet is purple, so that's a given, but I also try to add other things, a purple saddle pad, purple ribbon in the braids, *something* that shows who *I* am, as ME, not as a drone who goes along with the crowd.

To be honest, my whole drive to be unique is part of why Indy's name is what it is - Individuality. To remind me to always be myself, not fit into some cutout pre-determined version of what someone thinks I should be.

Mostly I think that suits, there are times when it suits to conform somewhat, to keep peace and because I want to, to be able to grow and be better at being me. Being an individual doesn't mean I cant do things other people do, I just get to do them with my own flair. Live outside the box as it were. My life seems to generally lead down the outside-the-box path. Out of high school, University wasn't on my menu because I was to introverted to be confident enough to go.  I went to a small trade college instead, and also found Parelli around that time.

Even growing up, I never had the same sort of life plan that everyone else seemed to have - go to school, get a desk job, get married, have kids, live happily ever after. No, while other girls my age were planning their weddings and naming their not-even-yet-conceived children, I was planning my farm layout and picking out future horse names. Funny how life works out, isn't it?

In school I usually felt out of sorts. During Careers class the pressure was on to pick a career/job path that you would then study towards the rest of your high school career.   The only thing I ever wanted to do was be with horses. Other things weren't an option. Maybe that makes me narrow minded, but I prefer to think of it as having a goal and striving to reach it.

Post trade school [ten month program] I 'lucked' into an office job. I wasn't looking for it, I didn't particularly care to have it, but it was money, which I sorely needed at the time. Two years I spent in that office. Most of which time was just spent counting the minutes until I could get home to my horses to put the wind back in the sails of my passion. The up side of the office job was that it allowed me to save enough money to get myself to Florida and undertake the journey that has FINALLY brought me to the portion of my life that sees me sharing my passion with horsey people and Parelli students all around me.

I guess all this rambling could really be condensed down to a simple fact or two. Don't be afraid to make something of your passion. Hold onto your dreams and make them your reality. Anything can happen when you act your own person and break the mold.


When I started this post I wasn't really sure where it was going. I didn't think it would end up as a diatribe about my life... it was supposed to be a re-cap on my Florida planning - which is well underway, for those curious. I leave in three weeks. Horsey paperwork is on its way, blood drawn and just awaiting results. My trailer is living at my dad's - he is getting it all road worthy and such, and Goliath is getting an extra inspection or two before being asked to undertake a 1200km journey hauling such precious cargo.

Also, I have found two extremely nice people who will be leasing Indy for the Fast Track 1 and 2. I am thrilled about that. I was a bit worried about her sitting bored in a pasture for twelve weeks.I think she will have a blast, and certainly the people who get to play with her will as well, she is such a treat to be with.

Otherwise not to much has been happening here. We have and continue to have some very deep freezes. Temperatures haven't been above -15C in at least a week. Projections are more in the -20 range for the next while, with a delightful breeze making it feel much more frigid. I am not sure I can adequately express my excitement for warmth and sunshine, and the lacking need for seventeen layers, while still feeling cold.

So far, I am very proud of how I have lived my life. It is mine to live, and I refuse to live it to anyone's standards but my own - which are high, let me assure you. There are those around me who wonder and wish for me to just 'let go of this horsey thing' and 'get a real job' and settle down, but that would be a betrayal to myself and who I am, so I plan to continue on this journey, keep on keeping on with my horses, and getting my good better and my better best!

 :-)
S

Motivation

Today, here I am. I am trapped at my dad's garage. Waiting for one little lightbulb to get changed on my truck so my license plate once again illuminates itself come dark - which does come obcenely early these days! Sitting here, killing time moseying around the world wide web, shivering everytime someone opened a door I started to ponder about motivvation.

It is a grand total of -13 out today, celcius, not including windchill. Once you factor that in, it becomes somewhat like -20 or so. Even for Canadia that is rather extreme for this time of year. Feels like not even two weeks ago it was +10 out and I was riding in a sweater.... oh wait,... I WAS! Sheesh.

So motivation. When it is this cold and this breezy, my motivation is distinctly lacking in getting myself out to the barn. The ground is froze, the footing is non existant, I have to wear eight hundred layers resembling the Michelin Man with ineffective mitten claws for hands. How can you have feel and timing with those kinds of barriers?? Sure wants to knock all the try out me.... I dont even try to get out there! Well, strictly speaking thats not true. I do go out and do chores regularly, so I get out there, just not always out for actual pony interaction time.

I feel like winter is good for building some rapport though. Its cold, its miserable and almost everytime they see a human we are bringing them some kind of something good - be it hay, grain, treats, warm blankets, letting them into their warm stall.... the list goes on. Seems like a good way to make some good 'bank account deposits', no? A lot of days I feel like I am getting nowhere, doing nothing productive, and then this morning when I went to adjust blankets, my usually aloof Indy made an effort to walk over to me. With a happy face no less. Hmmm.

Now what does that tell me. Maybe in the summer there is just to much going on? To much OH BOY LETS GO..... do whatever. Not enough 'Hi, how are you? Heres a cookie, see you later'. Maybe. Or maybe I am just more interesting than snow but not more interesting than grass. Joy.

Back to motivation. How do I get motivated in the winter. Im tempted to just say I dont. But thats not true. With my florida trip coming up, I am very motivated to at least THINK of things to do. So Ive got my MIND on the job at least. I do a lot of planning this time of year. I watch lots of dvds and make plans for what to do on the days its nice out or when the snow finally melts. Last year, I got really clever and brought a barrel into my basement, tied it to a footstool and then saddled it so I could practice engaging my core and body the way Linda talks about us needing for our Finesse. Get it right before adding the horse and it *should* come easier once the horse is in the equation, right? That was my theory. I think it worked out nicely. At the very least it got me saddle time through the winter, even sans a pony.

A month and a half ish until I get to head to the warmth. Just need to keep motivated until then. Try to keep some form of pony time going on so I dont hit that withdrawl wall. Horses are like my addiction.... withdrawl definatley hits in these dark cold months. I cant wait to get exclusive horsey time come February!

Not to sure if this was a coherent post or not.... My truck still isnt even in the garage... *sigh* Oh well. Maybe Ill head over to Savvy Club and poke around the vault.....

:-)
S